well, first, i finally received my long awaited visit from mother nature last night. i had been super stressed about missing it last week. i told myself there was no way i could be pregnant again and that it was more than likely just stress and the weight loss. sure enough, it came full force last night. as much as a want another little one running around, the timing couldnt be more off. so, as crazy as it sounds i am very happy.
lately ive been watching my girlfriend tracys baby named jazmyn. a few weeks ago she asked if there was any way i could continue watching her little girl while she went back to school to get her g.e.d. and then possibly college. im a firm believer in bettering yourself and i never planned on asking for money or anything in return for babysitting. well, since shes considered a single mamma, her schooling is paid for and when she was with her social worker she asked about daycare and what her plans were for jazmyn. she informed her that her friend, me of course, would be watching her. well, little did either of us know that the state will pay me to watch jazmyn while tracy goes back to school! i have had NO interest in going back to work. all i want to do is be a stay at home mamma for the next few years and raise babies. i think ive decided school comes last. so, even though it wont be much, im still contributing to our family and helping out financially which feels good. its going to take a while to get the ball rolling and for the state to start paying but until then tracy and earl are compensating :)
monday was thomas's first day at work in bremerton. he was up at 3am getting ready to go. it was a little over 2 hours worth of driving. well, before he ever got his job in bremerton he had went to tumwater on several occasions to the same job site basically begging for work. i want to say he went a total of 4 times? well, he no more got halfway thru his first day of work and the foreman from tumwater called and said he wanted him there tuesday to start work! thomas of course felt awful but talked to the boss and he was completely understanding. we should be getting his check from one day of work anyday, plus we just recieved his last unemployment check and next week he'll get a nice hefty amount from his new job. finally, we will be able to start getting back on our feet and saving. leilah needs 12 month clothes BADLY, so the timing couldnt be better.
i think thats about all for now. 2 more days and leilah will be 6 months! tah-tah!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Birth of Leilah Mae Johnson 4.03.08
I need to start by saying how funny it is how you seem to have this idea and all these expectations on how everything is going to play out when the time comes to deliver your child. I wrote my birthing story 2 days after the birth of my first daughter, Leilah, but as time went on I slowly started to remember bits and pieces that I somehow managed to leave out. I think my mental state may have had some part in that :)
I was due March 31st but that day came and went with no signs of labor. I was absolutely miserable. I was huge. I mean REALLY huge. On the 1st of April, one of my 5 OBGYNS decided it was time to go ahead and schedule an induction, something I never planned on but decided to go through with. I wanted nothing more than a natural birth but had literally reached the end of my rope. I was so swollen and my blood pressure was out of control, as it was my whole pregnancy, and she thought it best to deliver asap. I was scheduled for inducement on April 3rd. That morning, at 6am I called up to St.Peters in Olympia to make sure my inducement was still on and that there was still room for me. I was told to be there at 7:30am.
Thomas, my mom and I arrived right on time. I was put into room LL2. at 9am my water was broke (OUCH!) and I was hooked up to an IV with a pitocin drip and antibiotics for my GBS. By 9:30 the games began. The contractions started at 3-4 minutes apart and lasted about 30 seconds. I never really felt the whole "period type cramping" or "tightening of the stomach" that most women describe. I felt more of a ripping and pulling on my "area", thats what we will call it my area. I think the best way to describe it would be like someone reaching up inside and just yanking me apart. This lasted for about 2 hours. Then, the contractions became more intense. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and lasted 40-60 seconds. I did this naturally for just under 7 hours. The whole time numerous friends and family were coming in and out with gifts and flowers just watching me labor away. The original plan was to only have my husband and mother in the room during leilahs birth but having the company actually helped distract me from the pain. I gotta say, my mom wasn't as good as a support as I thought she was going to be. After a few hours of watching me labor naturally on pitocin she broke down and bawled. Every time I would look at her for reassurance I would end up having to comfort her and tell her that I was fine and that an epidural was not an option. Shortly after my moms breakdown, my dad walked in and for the first time in my life, I watched him cry. He begged and pleaded with me to just take the epidural. I remember his words as if they were just spoken yesterday "taking the epidural wont make you less of a woman." I absolutely was not budging. At 4pm my doctor came in and checked me. When I checked into St. Peters that morning I was already dilated to a 3. When my exam was done after all that laboring, I had only dilated 1 centimeter. I cant even tell you how disappointed/distraught I became. She explained that C-section was nearing and that I had one hour to make more progress and if nothing happened they would be wheeling me into the operating room. I was already completely aware of the chance of me needing a C-section. I had 3 of the 5 OB's tell me at one point or another during my appointments that I seemed to have a tipped uterus and that my pelvic opening was small. All that on top of the fact that I was carrying a VERY large baby. After hearing the news of a nearing cesarean I broke down. I began to cry and just feel like I had completely had it. I ordered an epidural thinking that a c-section was inevitable and that I was going to have it done eventually anyways. Within minutes I had an epidural all hooked up and going. This is when things spun out of control, and fast...
Within an hour of my epidural I felt so much pain and pressure coming from my area. I asked to be checked and sure enough I was at 6cms. Just one more centimeter and my doctor would start reconsidering the c-section. I didn't understand why I wasn't getting any relief after taking an epidural. A different anesthesiologist came in and mixed something up and injected into my epidural. I remember having about 2 hours of relief after that. At around 8 I felt the uncontrollable urge to just bear down and push and the burning and ripping sensation came back. I begged to be examined again and sure enough, 9 centimeters. I shocked everyone :) One doctor was banking on a cesarean and actually went as far as telling me "i doubt you'll ever pass 6 centimeters." About 30 minutes passed and I wanted to be examined RIGHT that second. The pain was becoming too much and all I wanted to do was push. Sure enough, fully dilated. My nurse called Dr. Burtner and told her the news. Here I am thinking its about to happen and my nurse returns with the news "Burtner wants you to hold the urge to push for another hour. She'll be here at 10. She also wants you to do some trial pushes to get an idea of how fast the baby will come." The minute I began to push I got unbelievable sick. I was trying to do my practice pushes but ended up projectile vomiting. Thomas held a total of 3 barf bags. My trial pushes didn't last long. I only did a few before I was told to stop. Talk about frustrating. I was in agony, literally, I felt like I had just eaten something that didn't agree with me and someone was telling me you can't use the bathroom! I just cried and moaned and finally, 10pm rolled around and in came my doctor along with a male intern. She asked if he could deliver while she overlooked. I didn't care WHO delivered I wanted someone down there! By the time the doctors were all geared up and ready to go, the urge to push had subsided and all I could feel was pain, excruciating pain. I became frantic and just begged and pleaded with everyone to just cut her out, the pain was just too much. I remember just crying my eyes out looking at my mom and dad for support and hoping they could convince the doctors to just take the baby out. My two doctors and nurses became very stern and tried calming me down. They insisted that I push. I pushed with all I had but it just wasn't getting anywhere. Pushing felt like I was just pushing myself against a brick wall with all of my might. An hour and twenty three minutes passed. Push after push, scream after scream, and suddenly out came Leilahs head. As soon as her head was out the doctors all became quiet and without any further instructions to push my nurse jumped on top of the bed and began screaming for me to push as long as I could, even when my contraction came to an end. With the next push she bared down at the top of my uterus and and there after Leilah was out. She was immediately placed on top of my stomach for about 40 seconds. I held her and cried and told her how much I loved her. While all of this was happening Thomas cut the cord and within a few seconds she was hauled off to be weighed and checked out. Leilah was born at 11:23 pm on Thursday, April 3rd at Providence St.Peters in Oly, WA, checking in at 9 pounds 8.9 ounches, 21 inches long with a head measuring 14 1/2 inches. The delivery of the placenta was absolutely NOTHING. I was examined after Leilahs birth and not one rip or tear was present. What a blessing. Dr. Dightman, the male intern showed me a chunk of Leilahs cord that was in a perfect knot. While she was coming down and out of the birth canal she managed to get her umbilical cord wrapped around her kneck and when he tried to flip it over he couldn't because of the knot. That was why she was hauled off so quickly and explained her blue-ish color and silence. In the end all turned out well. I was so thrilled to have vaginal. The pain and all that I endured all went away as soon as I laid eyes on our beautiful baby girl. We stayed in the hospital for 2 days before returning home....
Here are a few pictures from the hospital.
I was due March 31st but that day came and went with no signs of labor. I was absolutely miserable. I was huge. I mean REALLY huge. On the 1st of April, one of my 5 OBGYNS decided it was time to go ahead and schedule an induction, something I never planned on but decided to go through with. I wanted nothing more than a natural birth but had literally reached the end of my rope. I was so swollen and my blood pressure was out of control, as it was my whole pregnancy, and she thought it best to deliver asap. I was scheduled for inducement on April 3rd. That morning, at 6am I called up to St.Peters in Olympia to make sure my inducement was still on and that there was still room for me. I was told to be there at 7:30am.
Thomas, my mom and I arrived right on time. I was put into room LL2. at 9am my water was broke (OUCH!) and I was hooked up to an IV with a pitocin drip and antibiotics for my GBS. By 9:30 the games began. The contractions started at 3-4 minutes apart and lasted about 30 seconds. I never really felt the whole "period type cramping" or "tightening of the stomach" that most women describe. I felt more of a ripping and pulling on my "area", thats what we will call it my area. I think the best way to describe it would be like someone reaching up inside and just yanking me apart. This lasted for about 2 hours. Then, the contractions became more intense. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and lasted 40-60 seconds. I did this naturally for just under 7 hours. The whole time numerous friends and family were coming in and out with gifts and flowers just watching me labor away. The original plan was to only have my husband and mother in the room during leilahs birth but having the company actually helped distract me from the pain. I gotta say, my mom wasn't as good as a support as I thought she was going to be. After a few hours of watching me labor naturally on pitocin she broke down and bawled. Every time I would look at her for reassurance I would end up having to comfort her and tell her that I was fine and that an epidural was not an option. Shortly after my moms breakdown, my dad walked in and for the first time in my life, I watched him cry. He begged and pleaded with me to just take the epidural. I remember his words as if they were just spoken yesterday "taking the epidural wont make you less of a woman." I absolutely was not budging. At 4pm my doctor came in and checked me. When I checked into St. Peters that morning I was already dilated to a 3. When my exam was done after all that laboring, I had only dilated 1 centimeter. I cant even tell you how disappointed/distraught I became. She explained that C-section was nearing and that I had one hour to make more progress and if nothing happened they would be wheeling me into the operating room. I was already completely aware of the chance of me needing a C-section. I had 3 of the 5 OB's tell me at one point or another during my appointments that I seemed to have a tipped uterus and that my pelvic opening was small. All that on top of the fact that I was carrying a VERY large baby. After hearing the news of a nearing cesarean I broke down. I began to cry and just feel like I had completely had it. I ordered an epidural thinking that a c-section was inevitable and that I was going to have it done eventually anyways. Within minutes I had an epidural all hooked up and going. This is when things spun out of control, and fast...
Within an hour of my epidural I felt so much pain and pressure coming from my area. I asked to be checked and sure enough I was at 6cms. Just one more centimeter and my doctor would start reconsidering the c-section. I didn't understand why I wasn't getting any relief after taking an epidural. A different anesthesiologist came in and mixed something up and injected into my epidural. I remember having about 2 hours of relief after that. At around 8 I felt the uncontrollable urge to just bear down and push and the burning and ripping sensation came back. I begged to be examined again and sure enough, 9 centimeters. I shocked everyone :) One doctor was banking on a cesarean and actually went as far as telling me "i doubt you'll ever pass 6 centimeters." About 30 minutes passed and I wanted to be examined RIGHT that second. The pain was becoming too much and all I wanted to do was push. Sure enough, fully dilated. My nurse called Dr. Burtner and told her the news. Here I am thinking its about to happen and my nurse returns with the news "Burtner wants you to hold the urge to push for another hour. She'll be here at 10. She also wants you to do some trial pushes to get an idea of how fast the baby will come." The minute I began to push I got unbelievable sick. I was trying to do my practice pushes but ended up projectile vomiting. Thomas held a total of 3 barf bags. My trial pushes didn't last long. I only did a few before I was told to stop. Talk about frustrating. I was in agony, literally, I felt like I had just eaten something that didn't agree with me and someone was telling me you can't use the bathroom! I just cried and moaned and finally, 10pm rolled around and in came my doctor along with a male intern. She asked if he could deliver while she overlooked. I didn't care WHO delivered I wanted someone down there! By the time the doctors were all geared up and ready to go, the urge to push had subsided and all I could feel was pain, excruciating pain. I became frantic and just begged and pleaded with everyone to just cut her out, the pain was just too much. I remember just crying my eyes out looking at my mom and dad for support and hoping they could convince the doctors to just take the baby out. My two doctors and nurses became very stern and tried calming me down. They insisted that I push. I pushed with all I had but it just wasn't getting anywhere. Pushing felt like I was just pushing myself against a brick wall with all of my might. An hour and twenty three minutes passed. Push after push, scream after scream, and suddenly out came Leilahs head. As soon as her head was out the doctors all became quiet and without any further instructions to push my nurse jumped on top of the bed and began screaming for me to push as long as I could, even when my contraction came to an end. With the next push she bared down at the top of my uterus and and there after Leilah was out. She was immediately placed on top of my stomach for about 40 seconds. I held her and cried and told her how much I loved her. While all of this was happening Thomas cut the cord and within a few seconds she was hauled off to be weighed and checked out. Leilah was born at 11:23 pm on Thursday, April 3rd at Providence St.Peters in Oly, WA, checking in at 9 pounds 8.9 ounches, 21 inches long with a head measuring 14 1/2 inches. The delivery of the placenta was absolutely NOTHING. I was examined after Leilahs birth and not one rip or tear was present. What a blessing. Dr. Dightman, the male intern showed me a chunk of Leilahs cord that was in a perfect knot. While she was coming down and out of the birth canal she managed to get her umbilical cord wrapped around her kneck and when he tried to flip it over he couldn't because of the knot. That was why she was hauled off so quickly and explained her blue-ish color and silence. In the end all turned out well. I was so thrilled to have vaginal. The pain and all that I endured all went away as soon as I laid eyes on our beautiful baby girl. We stayed in the hospital for 2 days before returning home....
Here are a few pictures from the hospital.
Helllllllo Blogspot!
Wow! I finally managed to create a blog, besides the one on the good ol' Myspace!
Im still trying to figure it all out, so bare with me :)
I'm going to try my VERY best to write and keep everyone updated on life and the latest happenings.
Take care!
Im still trying to figure it all out, so bare with me :)
I'm going to try my VERY best to write and keep everyone updated on life and the latest happenings.
Take care!
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